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{"id":7258,"date":"2022-04-29T17:35:00","date_gmt":"2022-04-30T00:35:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.rjgeib.com\/?p=7258"},"modified":"2022-07-15T19:44:22","modified_gmt":"2022-07-16T02:44:22","slug":"against-overparenting-helicopter-parents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rjgeib.com\/against-overparenting-helicopter-parents\/","title":{"rendered":"“Bite Your Cheek Until it Bleeds and Say Nothing” \u2014 Daddy and Daughter"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
What does it mean to be a parent?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Often I think to serve well as a parent means ideally to be mature, possess self-control, and have good judgment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This might seem self-evident, my dear reader. But it is also vague. What does self-control and good judgment look like in practice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well, let me be specific: It means to hold your tongue when you are angry with your children, and still speak calmly and refuse to lose your temper. You are bigger than that. You are the adult in the household. You bite your cheek until it bleeds, and you refuse to lash out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or at least you hope you do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My dad is almost 83-years old, and he is the one who told me this philosophy of parenting once while we were taking a walk around the UC Irvine campus years ago. My dad told me how he bites his cheek sometimes until it bleeds with his kids and does not say what he wants to say. He was dealing with children in their forties at the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is harder when your children are toddlers or teenagers. The provocations are more extreme. I have 15-year old and 12-year old daughters. I am in the middle of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Usually it is not too bad. And I look around at other teenagers who truly are out of control, and I count myself fortunate in my situation with my daughters. They are not out of control. Overall, they are doing fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n