Tomorrow is the first day of school.
It is a fresh start — something we all deserve now and again. The past is past, the future is unknown, but the present is eternal. Stay present in the moment and the future will go better.
With that in mind I am going to try meditating this year. Swimming and other activities are a form of meditation for me, but I want to try it more straight up. Make it a more specific, intentional practice.
Tomorrow starts the seventh year of taking my daughters to school before my school day begins, and the turnaround where I drop my daughter off is a nightmare. If I arrive there before 7:43 a.m., I am fine. If I arrive at 7:46, it will be a nightmare. My own class starts at 8:00 a.m. and I need to get to my desk and prepare. It is almost always works out, but there is not a moment to spare.
I have to have my daughters clothed, fed, and ready to leave in the car for school by 7:27 a.m. Dropoff in crazy traffic with other time-pressed, stressed parents in their cars. Then hurry to my classroom where my workday begins. I teach from 8:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m. with a mere forty minutes off the entire day to use the bathroom and eat lunch. It is a compressed workday, relatively speaking, but I am off by 3:00 pm. But then my daughter walks in the door from her elementary school, and then with her in tow I must drive and pick up my other daughter from her bus stop. The girls need a snack, as they are often tired and cranky after school. Then soccer practice or whatever and dinner and bedtime. My wife and I share these afternoon/evening duties.
I get stressed just thinking about it.
I am not complaining. I have a good life. I chose it freely.
But it is a life full of responsibilities to many masters: my daughters, my students, my wife — and myself. Many teachers/parents put themselves last and lead unsustainable lives. They “burn out.” They break down. They get sick. They fall apart.
I will try not to let that happen.
So meditation is what I will try this year. On Tuesdays and Thursdays during the twenty or so minutes I have as free during my lunch break, I am going to try and clear my mind and meditate.
I will start off slow. Just two minutes of emptying and focusing the mind. All my physiotherapy has taught me the value of allowing the body to adapt to increased workloads over time. In sports science this is known as the “principle of supercompensation.” Time, discipline, plus effort equals results in strengthening the body. Why should the mind be any different? Start slowly and then with time increase the demands on my ability to concentrate and control the mind.
Like anything else, it will require patience and commitment. There will be peaks and valleys in terms of results, I am sure. But what I want is a mind less prone, especially on stressful days, to move from thought to thought in desultory fashion. I want less of the panicky “monkey flinging feces around my head” state of mind. I want to find my center and stay moored to it. Anyone can live that way in calm times, but to control firmly one’s mind while in the eye of the storm — that is what I want.
Wish me luck everyone!
I would appreciate any advice (link) anyone might have.
P.S. Six months later I have mediated during lunch zero times so far this school year. I am so tired by lunch I just sit there and zone out. I rest. Use the bathroom. I only have thirty minutes. This is not mediation, I realize. Total fail on this yearly goal.
