Dear Elizabeth,
So I sit here across the table from you at the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf store at the corner of Telephone Rd. and Main St. here in Ventura, CA. You are enjoying a hot chocolate with whipping cream which you assure me is delicious.
Your older sister Julia had soccer practice this evening, and you agreed to come with me. I had to drop her off and hang out somewhere until her training session was over and it was time to drive her home. So you agreed to pal around with me for ninety minutes. I am so happy! Normally I would be waiting here by myself while writing something, my hobby whenever I have a free moment. But now I’m here with you writing something next to me. You are writing a letter to the anime character “Sakura” with sketches of her surrounding it, and I am writing this letter to you.
First of all, I wanted to tell you how proud I am that you are safely ensconced in sixth grade. You have moved beyond elementary school, and you are successfully launched into middle school. If I am proud, I am even more relieved, frankly. I had some fears that sixth grade might not go well, as many a person has experienced a hell-ish middle school experience. It would seem that you might enjoy your time in sixth through eighth grade. I will hope so. But there was a reason we read Lord of the Flies together at the beginning of sixth grade. Bullying and cruelty are common at this age.
We shall see. I’ll keep my fingers crossed.
I would also like to communicate some of the character traits I most appreciate about you, my youngest daughter.
First of all, there is your quirky sense of style. You love anime videos and manga comic books. Lord only knows where you picked up this eclectic interest, but Japanese schoolgirl skirts and high stockings have captured your interest. You seem to know everything about the famous “Naruto” and a litany of other anime heroes; and there is a lot to know in these incredibly intricate and involved stories! I see some of these other girls your age becoming very concerned with fashion trends or attracting boys, and they seek to climb to the top of the “girl world” hierarchy while dating popular boys and exerting power over other girls. You don’t seem to care much about that, thankfully. You go your own way; you seem to know your own mind and chart your own path. You are a unique individual who defies easy characterization. You do not seem to follow the herd.
I like that!
You are also an expert in the Roblox and Minecraft video games. Also, you are also a big fan of the “ItsFunneh” YouTube channel.
I have to admit I have not found many of your hobbies to be of interest to me. But they were not designed with adults in mind. And I strongly suspect as you age out of these youthful hobbies you will tackle weightier and more worthy topics. You have a healthy appetite for involved and complicated narrative. What will this look like where you are 14, 24, or 40? Will you teach yourself spoken Korean or the C++ computer language? You will have the stamina for any such undertaking you put your mind towards: this much your childhood has already shown me.
I look into your face and wonder what you will look like as an adult woman. Of course the rough outlines are right there in front of me, but I strain to discern the woman you will one day be when I look into your eleven-year old face. All the material is there. But the full picture will become clear only with time.
I will be excited to see exactly how you develop over the years!
There is one important aspect I would comment on: your enormous heart, your capacity for empathy. I still remember vividly reading To Kill a Mockingbird to you, and you cried your eyes out when Tom Robinson was killed. You howled in pain. The same happened when you read John Green’s The Fault In Our Stars when the main character fell sick with cancer and died, and I could hear you start sobbing and carrying on from the other side of the house. Your crying jag lasted for a long time. You were distraught; I was surprised.
Your capacity to feel and bemoan the injustices others suffer seems to me remarkable. I come across hardship but am jaded by age and experience — “Another miserable moment in a world all too full of miserable moments,” I think to myself with resignation. But you are floored. You cannot admit that this tragedy you witnessed could have happened.
Your big warm heart will serve you well as you navigate this tricky world. Trust the native sympathies of your open heart, Elizabeth, as it is telling you something important about right and wrong. The head can be moved this way or that, but the heart knows what the heart knows. Trust that, my daughter. Remember your childhood reactions to injustice and your response to it.
But guard against giving out too much of your heart too often, Elizabeth. There is only so much of it, and the world can be a brutal and overwhelming place. Temper what the heart feels with what the head thinks. And protect your heart. Wrap it in some armor. It has to last you over the long-haul. There are some who are just too delicate and sensitive to survive long in this world. Don’t be that girl. Because there is much goodness and beauty, along with the other stuff.
At any rate, I am honored to be your father. I see you smile, and I warm up inside. A lump forms in my throat. It is like I often tell your older sister: to have a daughter, for a father, is like having your heart walk around outside your chest.
I love you.
Your Proud Father,
Richard James Geib
