My daughter turns 17-years of age today.
I am a bit dumbfounded.
Last year she turned 16-years old, and that date is very much wrapped up in her gaining a driver’s license. Here she was 14 months ago taking her first driving lesson –
My daughter was a high school sophomore at the time. This meant she was elbow deep in high school and the fog of adolescence: that is often not a pretty thing. A 16-year old undergoes serious physical, emotional, and intellectual growth, at least hopefully. It is stressful: that is how I see it firsthand as a parent and a teacher.
We adults forget how difficult being a teenager can be. Nobody gets out of that time of life unscathed. The crucible of adolescence requires struggle to transform a child into an adult: the obstacle is the way, the struggle is the point. My experience is that what is required of parents is patience and understanding in large doses. Teens have to find their own way and learn their own lessons (with whatever support parents can offer). Others can help, but everyone has to find their own way. An adolescent has to decide what kind of adult they want to be. It is a process; it is not easy. As Aeschylus claimed, “He who learns must suffer.” A person earns their growth. Trial and error. Nobody gives you anything for free.
I have watched my daughter struggle and grow. I tried to let your figure it out. I gave her whatever support I could. But I stood mostly to the side. It was my daughter’s journey, not mine. Her family and friends might be by her side, but she had to travel this road by herself. This is true both of adolescence, as well as life in general.
But now my daughter is almost on the other end of high school. 17-years old. Wow! In two months she will take the Advanced Placement exams she has been studying so hard for these past seven months. In 7 more months she will be finishing her college applications. And 12 months from today she will be hearing back from those colleges and will prepare to choose where she will spend her college years. Wow! As her high school counselor optimistically predicted of her excellent grades, “Julia will have plenty of options to choose from for college.” My daughter will be 18-years old at that time. She will legally be an adult. She will be graduating from high school ready to depart for university. It will be here before I know it.
I sometimes wonder if my daughter is 17-years old by the calendar, but more like 24-years old by her maturity. I recognize I am lucky in how my daughter has turned out. Some have complimented my wife and I for our parenting, but I don’t think we can take much credit. Julia was born the way she is. As Heraclitus claimed, “Character is destiny.”
It is all hard to believe. I stand back and shake my head in semi-disbelief. Wow!
My oldest child is 17-years old. That by itself is eye-opening for me. Seventeen. She is not a kid anymore, for sure.
Happy birthday, beloved daughter!
I am equal parts proud of what you have done with your life, and excited with where you will go in the future. Your mother and I have done everything we could to help you to thrive, and you have met us more than halfway.
It all lies ahead of you, Julia Emerson.
Go get it, girl! Unfurl your wings and fly!
The wider world, and adult life, await you.
Embrace that challenge.
Embrace the future you have worked so hard to construct.
Fulfillment and purpose in life come to those who work for it. Discipline, patience, and effort.
Earn your happiness, as you always have, daughter Julia.
I’m so proud of you.
I love you.
Your Father
